Monday, December 27, 2010

Peeves make lousy pets

A teacher's pet is the student that brings his teacher a nice shiny red apple the first day of school.  A teacher's pet peeve is taking a bite of the apple and finding half a worm inside.

I've had a certain pet peeve myself with a certain Internet provider providing me with a half a worm into every bill I bite open.  Okay weird analogy but c'mon!  It's been three months or so in a row now and you're still charging me incorrectly!

It puts me to task!  I told Tracy Lyn I was had half a mind to call them up and quote Ahab from Moby Dick or Khan from Star Trek II (and the other half of my mind thought that was a pretty good idea) but my better half reminded me that things didn't turn out so well for Ahab or Khan.

They task me. They task me and I shall have them! I'll chase them 'round the moons of Nibia and 'round the Antares Maelstrom and 'round Perdition's flames before I give them up! 

That's me paraphrasing Khan paraphrasing Ahab to suit the 23rd Century.  I actually read the original today as I've resumed Moby Dick.  The book really gets going in the chapter I just read, some 235 pages into it.

...I'll chase him round Good Hope, and round the Horn, and round the Norway Maelstrom, and round perdition's flames before I give him up!  And this is what ye have shipped for, men! to chase that white whale on both sides of land, and over all sides of earth, till he spouts black blood and rolls fin out. 

Ahab illustration by Rockwell Kent

Now you may think I'm overreacting but please observe that I have yet to name names as to identity of this Internet service provider.  I'm giving them one more chance before I publicly call them out.

Moral of the story?  White whales make terrible pets... and so would Kirk.

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